My Big Bhang Theory

In case you didn’t hear, George Obama was arrested for possession of “Bhang” in Kenya. If you’re wondering who George Obama is, then you’re not alone. George is the half-brother of President Barack Obama. And Bhang is the Kenyan term for marijuana. Cannabis. Weed. President Obama claims to have only met George twice. George claims, “They took me from my home. I don't know why they are charging me." He sounds innocent to me. And he must be, because he was released just a couple of days later.

Now let me be clear. No one voted for George Obama. He just came with the deal. And I can’t throw any rocks at the new president when just about every family has at least one black sheep. Some have a small flock. While it’s certainly no fault of their own, there have been several presidents with embarrassing brothers.

The brothers of Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon were more than a handful, even for the Secret Service. Sam Houston Johnson was notorious for getting drunk and talking to the press, often leaking damaging information. Donald Nixon borrowed $205,000 to start “Nixonburgers”.
The secret service codename for Bill Clinton’s half-brother Roger was “Headache.” Roger Clinton spent a year in prison for cocaine trafficking. He was investigated by the FBI for allegedly accepting money to broker pardons for drug felons. And he described himself as having, “a walk-in closet full of skeletons.”

But to me, there will never be another presidential family member like Billy Carter. Maybe it’s just that I’m a Southerner. Maybe there’s a guy kinda like Billy in practically every small town in Georgia. The press loved Billy. He was a natural target. He was best known perhaps for Billy Beer. Once the novelty wore off, it didn’t sell and quickly failed. Oddly enough, you can still buy a six-pack on eBay for less than $20. But his other claims to fame included urinating in such places as the Whitehouse grounds and airport runways in plain sight and bragging about smoking pot on the roof of the Whitehouse. He took out a loan from Libya for $220,000. And after the IRS seized his home and gas station in Plains, he moved to Alabama and ended his career making manufactured homes. You just can’t make this stuff up.

So did the press bury the story about George Obama? Probably. And I hope so. It’s not like he’s Michael Phelps. And why are Americans so intrigued with the scandals of presidential siblings? Probably because it brings these larger-than-life figures closer to where we live. We don’t know much about President Obama’s family yet, so it’s hard to know who, if anyone, might emerge in scandal. But rest assured, if it happens, we will be just as captivated as ever.